“Hello, Voldemort! Welcome to your therapy session!” I cheer.

Voldemort scowls. “Are you an experienced therapist? Because I only go to those.”

“Umm…not exactly. This is my first session! Let’s start with this–everyone knows you were defeated by Harry Potter. Right?”

Voldemort grunts in response.

“I hear he’s living happily with his family and–”

“Get to the point!” Voldemort barks.

“Okay,” I reply meekly. “Why do you only like purebloods?”

“There’s already something called ‘half-blood’ in the book ‘Percy Jackson’ and muggles aren’t cool.”

“Hey! I’m a muggle!” 

“That explains the horrible session!” Voldemort roars. “I’m leaving!”

“No! Wait!”