I never thought this would happen to me. It all happened so fast, it’s such a blur. I’ve heard of it happening to others. But it happening to me is surreal. The beginning of this night started at my friend’s house. His parents were out of town for their anniversary and he decided to throw a party. A party with alcohol that changed the rest of my life and a family’s life of someone who was a complete stranger to me. I remember the news on the TV with the headline “Fatal hit and run”. Four simple words. On their own don’t mean much, but when all together they changed the course of my life.

I didn’t realize what the phrase “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt” actually meant until after I hit that innocent person. I was a senior in high school. I had a full-ride scholarship to my dream college to play basketball. I had a 4.0 GPA and I was captain of the basketball team. I went to church twice a week and worked with the kids every other month. My life was going along great. It was almost perfect. But then that day came and everything changed. The day started out fun going to the mall with my friends Holly and Nelly. We went to get new outfits for Josh’s party. We walked around for a while going from store to store trying to find the perfect outfit. We had to have been there for at least three hours. After each of us found our new clothes we went out to lunch at Olive Garden. Once we finished our delicious lunch we all went back to Holly’s house to get ready.

“So all of you are going to this party I heard so much about huh?” Mrs. Jones—Holly’s mother—said as she walked into the room.

“Yes mom we are” Holly answered in an annoyed tone.

“Are there going to be adults at this party? What about drugs or alcohol?”

Holly didn’t want to prevent us from being able to go the party so she did what most teenagers do best—she lied. In a shaky and some-what suspicious tone Holly replied

“Of course there’s going to be adults there mom and no there won’t be drugs or alcohol”.

“Are you sure?” Mrs. Jones asked with that motherly tone of concern.

Nelly and I looked at each other and then Nelly said in a convincing tone “Don’t worry Mrs. Jones there won’t be any of that stuff at the party. We don’t do that kind of stuff.” Mrs. Jones wasn’t all that convinced but she let us go any ways.

We all piled into my 1990 Blue Honda Civic around 8:30. It took us about 15 minutes to arrive at Josh Chandler’s house. I’ve had a crush on him since sophomore year and he’s now finally noticed me. We got to his house that looks like a mansion compared to most houses. The music was blasting and people were dancing and having a good time. Josh came up to me and grabbed my hand. He took me into the house and got me a drink. We spent most of the night together talking, dancing, and joking around. I haven’t been this happy it a long time. It was one o’clock in the morning and Josh took me up to his room. Things were moving real fast and I didn’t like what was going on. I got out of that room as fast as I could. He wasn’t very happy about what I did. He began to run after me. I was scared and started yelling

“Holly, Nelly, where are you? I want to go. I don’t want to be here anymore.” over and over.

I couldn’t find them and the room was spinning, I felt sick to my stomach. Somehow I found my purse and ran to my car. I got into it and just drove. I got out of that place faster than I could imagine. I had the gas pedal almost touching the floor. My heart was racing; I could feel it pounding in my chest so hard that it actually hurt. The road looked blurry I couldn’t see anything. Everything seemed to be spinning. I drove over a very strange bump in the road that I didn’t recognize going at least fifteen miles over the speed limit hitting 55 M.P.H. I swerved my car but for some reason I was able to keep going, I couldn’t stop like something was pushing me to keep going. I wanted to get as far away from Josh’s house as I could.

From being discombobulated and not being able to see clearly and my eyes full of tears I wrapped my car around a tree. I remember waking up. My head pounding and my car wrecked. I didn’t know where I was or what was happening. There were at least eight or ten people around me. Blinding lights flashing. Loud sirens blaring. A million questions being thrown my way. Everything sounded puzzling and disoriented. I couldn’t make out anything being said. About five miles away a man had been put in a black body bag. The man I hit. After I got taken to the hospital and the nurses in the ER continued my checkup. I had to get a CT scan. They had the TV on with the news running and the headline stated “Fatal Hit and Run on Mills Road”. I instantly started crying and got hit with a powerful flashback. I felt like I got punched in the stomach. I was in Mills Road driving as fast as I could. I was incapable of seeing clearly. I remember seeing an outline of a shape that looked like a man. That bump I went over wasn’t a bump at all. It was that man.

I’m the one who hit him.

I’m the cause of that fatal hit and run. I felt sick to my stomach. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the garbage can. I knew that I caused that poor innocent man to die. My mind instantly flooded with thoughts I couldn’t get rid of:

“How could I turn myself in? I’ll get a misdemeanor or a felony or worse. I won’t be able to get into college. No college will want someone with one of those. My full-ride scholarship for basketball will go away. I don’t know what to do.”

I couldn’t stop crying and thinking about myself and how my life will change forever if I confess to what I did. The news was still on and more information had come out this time. A picture of the Goodman family appeared on the screen, a happy family of six. A husband, a wife, two daughters, and two sons. This family was the family that I took a husband and father from. I made four kids lose their father from being stupid. Now they have to spend the rest of their childhood without a dad. That picture is what made me stop thinking about myself and start thinking about what I did and how I affected the lives of six people for and rest of their family.

“How can I not confess to what I did and let that family suffer even more?” I thought.

As I hit the nurse button on the side of my bed my parents walked into my room. I continued to cry and my parents tried to talk to me but I couldn’t hear what they were saying from being consumed with guilt. Once the nurse got to the room and helped me calm down I told her and my parents what had happened and what I did. The next thing I know the cops were knocking on the door. They asked questions like:

“Where were you tonight? What events do you remember? Have you had anything to drink tonight? Do you know the Goodman family? Do you have any reason to harm a member of the Goodman family?” and many more.

I was completely honest with them and answered every question they asked to the best of my ability. The cops got the information they needed and told me that I did the right thing by telling them and confessing to what I did. They also told me that I would have to go to court after I was cleared from the hospital. I had minor injuries, a broken arm, but nothing too serious. However, Mr. Goodman didn’t have the same outcome that I did.

My life had changed forever all because I went to a party, got drunk, got in my car and killed someone who deserved to live. I changed that man and his family’s life forever and there isn’t anything that I can do to change it. If I could go back and change my actions I would in a heartbeat. After got done with the court I went and found the Goodman family. I went to apologize for what I had done to them. I knocked on the their purple door that I’ll never forget. The ten-year-old boy answered the door. The look on is face is implanted in my mind. He had a sad confused look on his face. He didn’t completely grasp what was going on and that his dad wasn’t going to come back. I asked the little boy if his mom was there and he ran off to go get her. When Mrs. Goodman got to the door I could tell that she had been crying all-day and tried to fix herself to answer the door. I told her who I was and asked if I could come in and talk to her. She let me in and we sat in the living room. Her and all four of her kids sat on a dark blue couch and I sat on the deep gray chair. She offered me a glass of water or a soda. I didn’t want to be rude so I took a glass of water. I started out saying how sorry I was for what I had done. I explained to them what happened and why I didn’t stop when Mr. Goodman was in the middle of the road. I could feel the pain seeping off them.

For some reason that I do not know or understand that family was able to forgive me and move on. It took them some time but they moved on which helped me move on. I’ve never forgiven myself for what I had done, but I’ve learned to live with it. I’m not the same person I was before that accident; I’m a totally new person who tries to make the best and smartest decision I can. That day, that night, that one moment has changed me and taught me to never take life for granted and always make the right decision because someone else might pay the price. I got a misdemeanor conviction from this horrible accident. I took a year off from school after I graduated high school to cope with killing Mr. Goodman. I decided to give back to the community by volunteering at a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, and at the hospital. I took something from the community so I had to give something back. After my year off I reapplied to college. When the question came up about having a felony or a misdemeanor I had to check the yes box. Checking that box was a hard thing for me to do but I did it. I had to explain what I did and why I did it. Explaining it became easier but the pain has always been there. To my surprise I got an acceptance letter in the mail to the Weber State University Law Enforcement Academy. I had always planned on playing basketball for my career but I changed my mind. The whole experience from the accident and with the law system and the forgiveness I received from that family I decided to go into the police academy. The idea of being able to help someone the way that others helped me opened my eyes for my new passion in law enforcement.