The first thing that came to mind was my new car that I was going to buy. It’s fresh red paint job gleaming in the sun. Too bad it can’t be bought by a petty thief who managed to botch his first planned heist. Usually I’m a smart person, but I really screwed up this time. I guess I was made to work like a normal person and make my own money. I’m just not cut out to be a thief anymore. Not that I was cut out for it in the first place.
I sigh and pull back my black hoodie to brush away a bit of my dark brown hair from my dull brown eyes, in all honesty almost everything was dark for me; brown skin, brown hair, a black hoodie, and dark humor.
In all honesty, I think I may be having a really, really bad day. Of course, that is something you would probably say if you were hiding in an alley with pockets full of stolen cash while three brawny men are currently trying to find and/or skin you for robbing their store, it would probably be worse if I tried a bank for my first attempt at a professional heist. I guess the best (and only) thing to do is assess my current location; hopefully there might be a way to escape that doesn’t involve running in to those giants again and getting my skull smashed to pieces. The walls were dreadfully boring, made of solid greyish concrete with no cracks and no graffiti at all. It’s unnervingly uniform, especially for this side of town.
It takes a few more minutes of searching before I find my salvation, a fire escape that reaches to the roof. It looks like I can’t give up yet. I’ve always been described as being like a monkey, since climbing came easily to me; especially a long fire escape like the one in my old apartment. I would need to be way better for my newest choice of career. By time I actually start going up the fire escape I hear shouting behind me. I’m not stupid enough to look for the source of the commotion.
I bolt up the fire escape as quickly as humanly possible, getting up quickly and quietly. I would pat myself on the back, but to my sheer horror I realize that I left the ladder down, allowing them to continue to pursue me to the roof. They were probably already half way up the ladder by time I was on the roof. The only choices I had were to either give up, or jump across a rather wide gap to the other building. After that it’s just a few minutes of running before I’m in the forest with the rest of my group. “Stop thief!” one of the officers shouted, already at the top of the fire escape while her gigantic oafish friends are still making the slow ascent to the roof. It looks like I’ll have to make a choice and quickly before he grabs me and crushes me like a bug.
It wasn’t supposed to go this way. All of us agreed to Alex’s plan to split up and meet in the woods; she planned it all out. “Jack, you’ll be the one to drive the van when we all get there” she said, pointing to our burly friend named Jack. The name was rather fitting since he looked like a lumberjack, with a muscular frame and arms that could probably crush my head, he also had a broad face with short black hair and, as Alex puts it, “an attempt at a beard”, his obsession with flannel didn’t help either.
After he agreed, she turned to me and Rebecca “and you two will get the money” she said. After all of us made the agreement, I asked “so, can the great and powerful Alex tell us the whole plan?” She rolled her cold blue eyes at my comment, before sighing and saying “Don’t worry, just get your part done and get to the forest” she commanded, brushing away some of her long blonde hair from her pale face.
“I would also feel a lot more comfortable knowing the entire plan here” Rebecca said, my sister was always the persuasive one of us. It might be because of her expression most of the time. She was a nice person if you could get past her five layers of anger that covered by dark brown hair and dull brown eyes.
One of the few good things I can say about Alex was that she was good at planning ahead. She made sure we would hit a store on the other side of town that none of us went to, so that we wouldn’t be suspected. She also made sure that we all had alibies; she paid her twin sister to study at the library, Jack was supposedly on a hunting trip while me and Rebecca where at a party. Everything relied on me and Rebecca sneaking in the store before it closed and taking all of the money out of the safe, finding the combination was easy since the manager had it written down on a poorly hidden piece of paper. She managed to sneak out without a problem, but I was spotted by three burly policemen who were alerted by the tripped alarm. That was probably be the fastest I’ve ever run in my entire life.
And now I’m here, choosing between the smallest chances of escape or being caught and sent to prison. I almost choose to give up until one of the oafs start to speak “It’s the end of the line kid” she told me, she was a tall woman with pale skin and blonde hair. Her resemblance to Alex was rather unnerving. She was flanked by two shorter men, but they were wider and a lot more fearsome. I simply reply by smiling and flipping them off “sorry, but you’ll have to come over here and get me, officer” that was enough for one of them to charge at me, this guy obviously had a lot of anger issues to charge like that, this idea of mine is reinforced by his loud baboon-like screaming. By time he’s halfway to me I turn around and decide to take my chances with the gap. It’s obviously better than fighting a man-ape hybrid twice my height and dressed in blue.
Those next few minutes felt like eternity. By time I reached the other rooftop they were already chasing me, the blonde girl was the fastest, which proved to nearly be my downfall. Before I can make it to the ladder down to the street one of them manages to grab me and get me down on the ground. “If you give up now you won’t get that long of a sen-” his sentence is cut short by me kneeing him in the groin. I’m a lover, not a fighter, which is why I always aim for the erogenous zones.
I’m obviously not stupid enough to stick around when the other two come around to help him, so I get up and run for the ladder as quickly as my legs can take me. Luckily they couldn’t reach me once I slid/fell down to the street below, it’s a wonder I didn’t break any bones when I landed on the cold hard concrete.
I didn’t stop hearing them shout until I’m safely in the forest, and I didn’t stop running until I tripped and face planted into the ground. I didn’t want to get up after running for so long, and even though it sounds stupid I’m content to lay there for a little. My moment of rest is interrupted by someone’s foot nudging my face. I got up to see Jack; the giant man looked even more terrifying in the moonlight. “Get up short stack” the giant said in his gruff voice, as Rebecca and Alex came from behind him.
“Do you have the money?” Alex asks “is that any way to greet the guy who almost died for your stupid plan?” I ask, before grinning and pulling out the fat wad of cash. My Achievement is commemorated by Jack patting me on the back as he led all of us to the van. While we’re driving off, I start to think about that red car; maybe I’ll soon be able to afford it for myself.