Princess: Oh, when will someone, specifically a single, cis, straight, hunk, save me from this isolated tower that I have spent an illogical amount of time in. Seriously, by all means I should be dead, in this classic pricess prision, there’s no bathroom or place to store excessive amounts of food and water, but here I am, yelling out my window about how awful my life is even though no one is there to listen, well other than the dragon and they’re very dull.

*The dragon makes offended noise*

Princess: It’s true. You’re always so moappy, you don’t even seem like you want to be here, which makes no sense because obviously all dragons want to guard princesses, all of which are beautiful because that’s how royalty works. Plus you can probably leave anytime you want, it’s not like anyone can stop you, but here you are, protecting potensial food for no reason while you wait to be easily slain by the first pretty guy with a sword that’s dumb enough to attack a monster hundreds of times larger than him.

*The dragon makes unintelagable, grumpy mumbling as it lays down at the foot of the tower*

Knight: Look Squire! A beautiful princess that I can somehow see in the window of a tall tower more than a moat's length away!

Squire: What do you mean by a moat’s length?

Knight: Oh and look, a dragon is threatening her life!

Squire: I don’t think she’s in danger. The dragon looks relaxed.

Knight: We must save her!

Squire: I- *Quietly* if he dies, I’ll take his place as a knight. *Loudly again* Fine. What’s the plan?

Knight: I don’t need a plan. I’m just going to go kill it.

Squire: Sire, you can’t do that. 

Knight: And why can’t I?

Squire: Because then I’ll have to tell your family about your meaningless death, since you weren’t able to do anything in the process. I suppose either way your death will mean nothing, because there’s no way you can take down that thing.

Knight: Ha ha! I won’t die. I may be severely overpowered but I have love on my side!

Squire: Love? What are you talking about?

Knight: The maiden has stolen my heart.

Squire: You mean the one you saw for the first time a couple minutes ago and have yet to talk to?

Knight: Yes! She is my soulmate!

Squire: She is a stranger to you! At best you can say you’re lustfull for her.

Knight: Lust? Ha! Lust is sinful. What I feel for her is only the purest of love. 

Squire: You know nothing about her; you can’t love her!

Knight: Fine, I will prove it to you!

Squire: And how will you do that?

Knight: By saving her! 

*The knight walks over to the dragon*

Squire: Sire!

Knight: Come at me, foul beast!

*The dragon gets up and tries to squish him with a leg*

*The knight dodges*

Knight: Ha ha! You stand no chance against me!

*The knight stabs at the dragon’s foot*

*The attack hits and the dragon howls in pain and then dies*

Squire: How the heck did that kill it? He barely even grazed it.

*The squire pokes the dragon’s leg with a foot*

Princess: I’m saved!

*The princess is now standing on the ground beside the knight*

Squire: Wait, how did she get down here?

Princess: Oh my love. Thank you. I am forever in your debt!

Squire: Wow. She’s just as crazy as he is.

Knight: I may have saved you, but I am the one in your debt. Without you I never would have felt true love!

Princess: Oh… What’s your name?

Knight: Bill.

Princess: Isn’t Bill an odd name for a prince?

Knight: I am a knight, not a prince.

Princess: Oh… Well, you still saved me so,

*The princess wraps her arms around the knight’s neck and kisses him*

Squire: I feel like I shouldn’t be here.

*The two are still kissing*

Squire: Maybe I should-

*They finish their very long kiss*

Knight: Marry me.

Squire: Wow, I know they’re going fast, but still, wow!

Princess: Oh Bill. Of course I’ll marry you, I love you!

Knight: Let us go back to the kingdown and be married by nightfall!

Princess: Yes please.

Knight: Then we shall be on our way!

*The knight picks her up and puts her on his horse before getting on in front of her*

Knight: Hurry up Squire!

Squire: They are insane.

*The squire gets on his horse*

*The party starts their journey back*

Princess: My name's Karen, by the way.