The setting is a library
I am 8 years old and we are having story time.
the young library assistant reads us a story about all the colors. in the end we all share our favorite colors.
I am so excited to announce mine. i reckon i must be extremely special because nobody is picking my color. the boys in my group are all deciding between red and blue. one shy boy is thinking of green. the librarians assistant smiles as they share why they love their respective colors. when she turns to me, i smile, and tell her that i like pink. she and my friends laugh and tell me that pink is a girls color. that day i cried and cried because i figured something was wrong with me. the girls assured me THEY liked pink. it must be fine. I sit with the girls during story time from then on. I don't talk about pink any more. from then on my favorite color is blue.


Middle school is the first year that i hear the term fag. apparently i am gay. the other boys and girls are sure of it. i sit with the girls while the boys play smear the queer. when they tackle each other the call each others names.
In the middle of the year, i am invited to a birthday party. my first girl boy party. we play spin the bottle. i keep wishing the boys would quit insisting "no gay stuff" i want to kiss a boy. the girls that seem to be comfortable with me don't attract me. a girl gets a call from a parent and is told she must go home. the others are disappointed. "thats so gay"

they all say. when we watch t.v, someone mentions a t.v show character is gay. i am surprised when the guys call him a fag.


By seventh grade i speak homophobe fluently.
all i need is to spend a day with the boys and i have the hang of it. i am now on the basketball team. i don't write or draw any more. my entire day is spent observing which girls my best friends think are "hot" the next day when they ask who I think is hot, I repeat all the girls they said the day before. they are unaware that i have not a clue what I'm talking about. by the summertime, i realize that i am gay. the internet is my lifeline. online I'm not afraid to run into a friend. i can talk about who i am without judgement.

Eight grade is over now. All of my school now knows that i am gay. some embrace me. some disassociate from me. many don't care. but the important thing is that i know who i am, and i think that knowing who i am has changed who my friends are now. they don't play smear the queer anymore. Thats so gay is said only on accident if at all. the word fag is highly disapproved. I'm lucky. things could have been so much worse, but luckily, they were not. I am Gay

And also: I Absolutely LOVE pink