Sitting in my room. Curled in a ball.

This certain corner of the room was cold.

As if there was some presence in the room.

I have been grieving working the next day because I didn't want to try.

I would collapse in the middle of a soccer game because I just couldn’t do it.

I have had to hide my feeling so that no one would know that I Was hurt on the inside and out.

I said some pretty nasty words feeling the pain on the inside after that.

Feeling the pain inside my heart weakened me.

Feeling as if nothing was going to be ok weakened me.

Having them betray my trust killed me.

What would happen now.

Would I go back to being lonely.

Would I go back to being my natural happy self.

Trying to go outside and breathe.

Nothing working.

Me about to collapse from all the stress.

Sitting in the classroom.

Tears streaming down my face.

The pressure to do work and to be happy.

I sat down on the couch.

Peeling off my nails polish and biting my nails.

Then suddenly settling down.

Putting the earbuds in.

Turning the music up all the way.

Feeling the pain fade.

Knowing it would come back.

Well i didn’t.

The body image in my brain going away.

The anxiety and stress going away.

At this moment I was going to be ok