16 years, his presence in my house

10 at night belting his Italian opera

Reaching for notes with a scratching vibrato

The steam emanating from the crack beneath the door

A brother I’d known all my life

One who’d walk as tall and confident as a leopard at first sight of prey

Yet as cautious as a deer at the crack of a stick

And warming my heart with every hug

Every day taking his time with me for granted

As common there was sugar in the pantry, my brother

To think he’s grown up is still a foreign subject to me.

Knowing he’s not gone completely...

But still, all the time, feeling his absence

In school without him to defend me with his dark senior look

Very intimidating with his black eyes, ebony hair

and poorly shaven face

He gave off this sickeningly welcoming glow

To rewind 10 years back to some of my first real memories with him

Back with Yugioh cards and Gameboy colors

Not realizing how much of an influence they’d have on me

Sitting down before the flames lighting up our fake fireplace

The cold still chilling my cheeks because the glass was too thick

Attempting to shuffle the Pokemon cards with my numb and nimble fingers

Life lessons disguised as childhood games

Acquiring little tricks on how to cooperate and encourage others

in a game I was doomed to lose.

How I remember them now and wish I could turn time back to sit there once more.

Because driving away from someone with only pictures and memories to keep

is heartbreaking.

Your influence becomes irrelevant

Now phone calls and skype my last resort for trusted advice.

No more gourmet quiche or barley with red pepper salad.

A vacant room at the end of the hall

Lacking your dark humor and arcane smile.

Our body of people now one count less.

You’ve ripped off a branch from this sturdy tree.